Being Open Without Being Dishonest

The Communication Panacea supports my prior critiques in regards to openness and creating our identity. Postman speaks of honesty by stating, “civilization is impossible without inhibition…and how silence…and dishonesty are frequently necessary for people to work together harmoniously.” Postman suggesting that if we were all completely honest there would arguments and we intentionally do not tell the truth. “communication is most sensibly viewed as a means through which desirable ends may be achieved.”

As individuals we make decisions how much information to disclose to others out of respect. Grant2U writes, “When I look at how I communicated with my “interlockers” I feel that I was thoughtful, respectful, honest, but not totally honest.” ShinyGinger expressed her opinion that she would possibly be more forward or willing to begin a conversation with someone if they were in a face to face situation. “In the responses, I noticed that although I was respectful and tried to connect to other classmates over the common shards of ourselves that we shared, it was somewhat forced. It was polite conversation for the sake of making polite conversation. Because I had to choose people to respond to, I did. I think the situation would be very different if we were all in a room together, no longer classmates but in a different environment. It would be much easier (for some) to walk up and strike up a conversation, responding and going with the flow of what was being said. Even in that situation, I doubt I would be saying all that I was thinking or feeling, but would be much more likely to share.” She was not dishonest in the online discussions, she just did not feel the same openness to begin or peruse new conversations.

The lack of openness or disclosure , not dishonesty, can also be defined to a point as protecting ourselves. MemphisBurns wrote about that he “tailored my conversation to the individual.” Why do I do this? Is it to make the other person feel comfortable or is it to make ourselves feel safe? ShineyGinger agrees that she possibly tried to protect herself, “ I agree. What would have happened if I was more truthful in my introduction comments? In one, I mentioned an ongoing challenge I have had. What if I had been more straightforward and honest, explaining that I have Bipolar Disorder and that as a result, certain things are harder for me. I didn’t, partially because I didn’t want to make everyone uncomfortable. Mostly, because I wanted to protect myself from what I expect everyone else to say, think, or feel.”

Openness

In Jimigarcia27’s blog post he is reflecting on his reading assignment by Stewart and Zediker and his classmates’ responses to “happening” and “standing you ground.” His blog reads:

….reading my teammate Swabbies responses and learning’s from their “path” I did observe someone “happening” to them. Swabbies described where they went on this path and the different people’s posts that they read. The way that they responded to what they read on the blogposts made it clear to me that someone “happened” to them. The personal experience stories that were disclosed to Swabbies made him/her really realize that this was the best way to learn in this class. They say, “Self disclosure and experiences are the most effective ways to make the words real or rather to paint a picture of what you are trying to say.” Before reading the posts and responses Swabbies was “standing their ground” by having their own views and ideas but once each person “happened” to them their ideas changed.

Jimigarcia27 and Swabbies are both express the reality of being open to letting yourself to be happened. We are all senders and receivers of information and it is our willingness to disclose information that allows us to be efficient interpersonal communication skills.

“Self disclosure is important in this type of class because it makes the group more comfortable to communicate with each other. I began by clicking on the “why are you writing sideways” link where I found a blogpost by chocolatemilk. Chocolate milk wrote how love has more than one meaning and gave personal examples of how he/she felt when saying “love” in different contexts such as face to face or over the phone.”

Jimigarcia27 speaks about the level of comfort for disclosing personal information. It becomes apparent that we manage our communication depending who we are communicating with. One of the people in the class that he comments on is Sports08’s comments and his agreement with this person.

“They talk about how the readings we’ve had were important and relate with the idea of recognizing a comfort level before you disclose personal emotions. “Once the level of self-disclosure has been established you must identify your feelings and interpret them according to the established comfort level in the relationship.”

I agree with both ideas and think that they are going to help us in class. Sports08’s ideas about emotions being important are how I feel in the fact that we should express how strongly or weakly we fell about an idea. I also agree with _{Presidnet Makalele’s} ideas about how through our style of class it is important to recognize a comfort level before disclosing emotions. I think it’s smart to recognize what amount the person your talking to is going to disclose before you decide yourself.”

Sports08 responds to communicating as exhaling with classmates and in life and the different level that we may need to engage others in communication depending on our relationship.

…I feel as though after looking at the reading that deals with how we can put our emotions into words, and deal with our emotions through conversation will benefit us in our group efforts. Like mentioned above we have not had any conversations where we’ve shared much emotion. Although this reading is beneficial for our future conversations, I do not feel as though it pertains to our work in class. The reading that deals with how to express our emotions to strangers, and how we can share our thoughts to strangers will be beneficial. This is because we are all very much strangers, and we will have to share our thoughts when we work together as a group, and the general class-discussions. Therefore we have learned different methods of how we can share emotions and our thoughts to one another in this class, but also to strangers for the rest of our lives.

During this discussion, nexting, listening, emotions and self disclosure were evaluated and determined to be key components of effective communication.

http://aplaceinspace.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/nexting-and-being-nexted-what-we-exhale-becomes-us/#comment-1282

“David Johnson uses the expression “self presentation” in “Being Open With and to Other People” when thinking about “impression management”. How open one is when communicating shapes how the receiver perceives the sender and the sender can “manage” their own impression on the receiver through self-disclosure. What you decide to be open about with someone is explained by Rosenfeld and Richman. Their article, “When, How, What to Self-Disclose” says that it depends upon the comfort and trust level between the two people communicating. Once the level of self-disclosure has been established you must identify your feelings and interpret them according to the established comfort level in the relationship.”

9.1 and 9.2

My two classmates commented on the article ‘Communicating and Interpersonal Communicating,’ by John Stewart. In this assignment I am focusing on the identities, Top of the Morning Top of the Morning, http://topofthemorning.wordpress.com/

spoke about the differences of communication in different cultures and his personal experiences. In the United States he described his experience as “very professional, “conservative” and “trying to send a professional message.” In the other country (that is never specifically mentioned) “It is more relaxed,” “I think it has something to do with different perceptions we have about what is acceptable and what is not.”

Cake’s Blog addressed these comments by addressing the cultural difference between Eastern and Western cultures. Identity- Stewart believes that the western world has the same boundary as “the boundary of the individual as the same body, and that the body houses or contains the ’self.” Where in the eastern cultures, the “self is define by what is outside the body) i.e. groups one is part of), and breaking from the norm unacceptable.’

When constructing our identities there are three different perspectives. First, that our identities are stable. Second, that there is a choice or connection with the situation or “self…” Thirdly, that relationships are developed “from past and present relationships.’

Teaming

Throughout the semester we have been given readings and assignments that have made me observant of the processes of interpersonal communication. The article “Dialogue’s Basic Tension” by Karen Zediker and John Stewart not only reiterate what I have learned, but has also made me conscious of other processes of communication. I have found in many ways I have taken communication for granted and by knowing the processes I can learn to become a better communicator.

The first concept discussed in the article addresses “letting the other happen to me (587).” This goes back to what we read a few articles ago. It is being open and respectful to others and the views, by doing this, in some circumstances; we can make ourselves vulnerable to emotions, in a positive way, especially working in a group. In this course we have never met and may never see each other so we might be willing to express ourselves more freely. jimigarcia27 in their entry stated, “I also think the article about expressing your emotions and thoughts to strangers will be helpful to our groups learning of interpersonal communications. We are in a situation where we’re all being asked to express personal information to people we’ve never even seen before. If we can study this type of communication with each other it may help us to interact with one another as well.”

The second concept discussed in the article was “Holding Your Own Ground.” Once you understand the meaning it is not a new concept in communication, but once again you become more intuitive during a conversation that it is happening. Today I attended two weddings. It was interesting, at times comical, to observe the group dynamics during the conversations. An individual would start a conversation with the group and the responses were interesting. In most instances the responses were thoughtful and respectful to the new ideas being proposed or other responses were very matter of fact. In either situation the individuals were holding there ground.

Group Dynamics?

Obviously, I went to Group Dynamics. I scrolled don to the student’s weblog addresses out of curiosity of what they had written. The first entry I read was about listening. I thought this might be a topic of choice for our group assignment. However, as you read the my path while reading, I wonder if group dynamics would be appropriate. I am sure we have all worked in groups before and obviously we are required to work in a group for the next assignment.

“In many instances I have listened to someone elses idea or suggestion and have been able to “piggy-back” my ideas into the conversation. I also have found it to be really helpful to be a good listener, and realize that a way to show that you’re listening is to be able to tie ideas and suggestions into one another. In order to be a successful coordinator one needs to be a good listener, and pretty organized. Coordinators also coordinate activities of various members or subgroups and I find myself doing that often through conversations and emails within our sub groups (Schien, music, eval., fishbowl).”

http://www.umasswiki.com/wiki/User:Summer22

I continued to visit other students sites. http://www.umasswiki.com/wiki/User:Akademakid did not have anything in particular about listening.

Finding consistent in each of the sites I visit for the students of the Comm 352 course that they emphasize is group dynamics, which I believe we all know we are about to experience like it or not!

http://www.umasswiki.com/wiki/User:Buckets34 states “I learned in Group Dynamics and I will always be aware of the developmental process of forming a group in the future! I am very satisfied with the outcome of this course and I hope you all enjoy touring through our wiki and blog posts as a virtual tour through Comm. 352- Group Dynamics! –Buckets34 17:02, 11 May 2008 (EDT)”

walshy05 (http://www.umasswiki.com/wiki/User_talk:WalshyO5) confirms that in groups we each play roles. Possibly what is our persona strengths that naturally fit the need of the group. “Our subgroup worked extremely well together. We pulled our weight in the group, and we all had something unique to bring to the table. Aaron is a relief pitcher on the UMASS baseball team and provided insight to the daily life of a UMASS student-athlete and also provided information on all of the UMASS varsity athletics and venues in the Varsity Sports Page

Matt Westgate has played more Intramural Sports than probably anyone who has ever stepped foot onto the UMASS campus. Between him, and his close friends, they know the insides and out to everything involved with Intramurals from where to sign up, how to form/join a team, to the actual playing on the field. You can find out all the information you need to know about UMASS Intramurals courtesy of Matt Westgate on the UMASS Intramural Sports Page

Then it was my turn. Probably the least known aspect of sports on the UMASS campus is what I do, sports broadcasting. I have been broadcasting sports at UMASS since the fall of 2005. I personally think this aspect of the sports site will be the most useful for students interested in broadcasting because there isn’t a lot of information around campus about what I do. To see everything from the amount of games we broadcast, how to get involved, and what its like broadcasting a live college sporting event, check out the UMASS Sports Broadcasting Page.”